He was always a Soldier
by losingmymind3696
Summary: Allie has to say goodbye to Wade and spend the next four years alone. As She waits for him to come home death and surprise fill her life.


**June 1942**

I could smell flowers surrounding me as I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what life would be like a year from now, threes years from now but I couldn't do it. I felt fingers wrap around mine and I opened my eyes.

"I'm tired." I said sitting up and brushing the grass out of my hair.

"Allie, I have to tell you something important." He said his face looking worried.

"What? Is it about your mom?" I asked worried.

"No, she is fine. I was thinking and I decided that I was enlist and I needed to tell you-"

"Enlist in what, the army? You're not a soldier Irwin, you are supposed to be a Doctor, remember, Dr. Wade?" I said laughing.

"No, I am being serious. They need people that know about injuries and stuff." He said more strongly now.

"This is stupid, do you want to die?" I said now upset. "You can't leave me here."

"I don't want to leave you or die but its what I want to do, I want to help people." He said sitting up now.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have to go." I said standing and brushing my skirt off.

"Please do not do this to me." He said looking up at me.

"Do what?" I asked confused.

"Don't be mad at me please, this war is going to be over in a couple months and then I can come back and everything will be good." He said grabbing my hand and bringing me back on the grass with him.

"A couple months?" I asked looking down. "What happens if something does-"

"Don't worry, nothing will happen. I will be fine. I promise." He said and then kissed me.

**August 1942**

"Are you sure that you want to leave?" I asked as we stood outside the train station with other men leaving their families.

"Look I won't get hurt, I can't, and I'm Medic Wade now. I have to save people." He said trying to make the situation light.

"Ok but you have to write to me whenever you can." I said as tears began to fill my eyes.

"I will, whenever I can, I promise." He said smiling and wiping away my tear. "I need you to do something for me." He said looking serious now.

"Whatever you want." I said clearing my throat.

"Can you make sure that nothing happens to my mom?" He said.

"I promise." I said softly.

"Something else," He said more slowly.

"What?" I looked at him now.

"Promise me that when I get back, whenever that is, that you will marry me?" He said as his eyes began to water too.

"I could never dream of marrying someone else." I whispered.

"I love you." He hugged me and I buried my face in his neck and cried softly.

**June 1944**

I hadn't seen or heard from Irwin, or Wade as everyone said now, in more than a year. He went off to training and then to where ever the US was fighting.

I tried to follow what was happening with the War but it was just to confusing and all I could think about was Wade being killed.

I didn't know when he would be back but I just hoped everyday that something big would happen and then is did, D-day.

After the D-day attack everyone was talking about how the war was going to be over and everything would be fine.

Wade was still trying to sleep but like everyone else found it hard to do, even after his advice no one could sleep. The men began talking about the girls they would marry when they returned home and all Wade could imagine was Allie sitting in the grass begging him not to go and him still leaving. He began to feel regretful.

"So what about you Wade?" He heard Jackson say.

"What?" Wade asked lost because of his thoughts.

"Do you have girl?" Mellish clarified.

"Oh," Wade said not wanting to talk about it. "Yeah I do."

"Of course he does, I bet she is the best." Mellish said joking.

"She hates me." Wade said looking at his hands.

They all got quiet and no one knew what to say. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you." Upham said breaking the silence.

"Yeah she does, she told me not to leave her and I did." Wade said shaking his head.

"I bet she is thinking about you and waiting for you." Jackson said moving closer to Wade and trying to comfort him.

"If I die will-"

"No one is going to die." Mellish said loudly.

"What about Caparzo?" Wade asked. "Its possible, if I die will one of you go and tell her that I'm sorry and I wanted to come back. Please." Wade said.

"Whatever you want Wade." Captain said from his spot.

**July 1944**

As the weeks passed the men began to come home, one by one. Everyone seemed so happy. Mother's were happy to see their son's and girls were happy to see the men they fell in love with. I just waited and waited for Wade to get off the train, his mom had become ill and just wanted to see him before she died.

**May 1945**

It had been nearly a year since D-day and there wasn't any word on Wade or anything. Germany surrendered and the war was almost over. Almost everyone had either returned or their families found out they had died.

I assumed since nothing about Wade had been sent then he must still be alive, they would have told me by now if he has died.

His mother had died in December of 1944, I didn't have money to do a proper funeral but luckily the priest and church were both kind enough to do it for a low price.

After that I was pretty much alone, I did manage to get a steady job but I became anti-social. I didn't want anything to do with anyone. I was sitting in my room or my small house when I heard a the clank of the mail box outside, I didn't feel like getting up to get it but I knew that I had too.

I walked outside and opened the box and took out the mail. There were three envelops, one from my parents asking me to come visit them, a letter from a friend I had in California and the last one was the worst.

I couldn't even open it for two days but I knew that I had to eventually.

It was from the US army, it said that Medic Irwin Wade had died while trying to save Private James F. Ryan. I didn't know what to think or what to do.

A couple days passed when I finally got out of bed and went back to my job. I didn't want to but I knew that I had to.

I couldn't help but blame myself, why didn't I stop him? I tried but I didn't try hard enough, I should have told him if he left I wouldn't wait, he would have stayed then. There was so much I could've done to make him stay but I didn't. I let him go and do what he wanted and now I would never see him again.

I didn't deserve him to see him, I didn't deserve anything.

**April 1946**

I had moved on from when Wade died, I still thought about him everyday and I still loved him but he was gone. I had to get used to that and I tried. I made friends and tried to meet new men but none of them were the same. They would never be as good as him.

I was in a bar with a couple friends that I made, we were just having fun when I noticed a guy sitting alone. I decided to introduce myself.

"Hey, my name is Allie Jacob." I said politely smiling.

"Hi, it's nice to meet, I am James Ryan." He said nodding.

"That name sounds familiar, have we met before?" I asked unsure.

"No, not that I know." He said. "I was actually looking for someone."

"Oh, maybe I can help." I suggested.

"Do you know someone named Irwin Wade?" He asked.

My could feel my stomach drop and my heart speed up, no one had said his name since they found out he died. I guess to save me from the hurt.

"Why are you asking?" I asked not answering.

"I was looking for his mother." He answered.

"Oh she died, a little over a year ago. She was real sad that she didn't get to see him." I said now remembering her last wish.

"Oh, um so you know who Wade is?" I nodded. "He died trying to save me." He said looking ashamed.

"Yeah that's what the army said too." I said more to myself.

"Were you his girlfriend?" He asked looking at me.

"Yeah but it doesn't matter anymore. He liked helping people and if that's how he died then its what was best." I said realizing that nothing I said or did would've changed his mind. "I am glad you came here to meet her, she was real sweet." I said smiling.

"I wanted to thank her for having such a good son as Wade who would give his life for someone like me." He said.

"Don't worry, she always knew that." I said.


End file.
